I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
