mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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