I want to have your abortion
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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