Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize