woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
