I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
