I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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