I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
