Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
honey bunches of taint.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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