we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
