He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
