I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
