did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
