he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
