using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
