i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
