I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
