Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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