I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
