sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
