dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
