i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
