Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
