I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
