Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
