It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize