I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
