if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
