We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
