You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
