at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
