How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
