Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
