it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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