Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
