i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
