Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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