At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
