I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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