we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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