this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize