dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
