Got a toothbrush?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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