I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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