So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
