I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
