i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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