we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
