Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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