so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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