My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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