well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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