I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
