can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
