if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
