my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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