I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
