I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
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