i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
