is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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