everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
